For my first post on this blog i decided i should explain why i chose the title i did. Most who are reading this already know (as if anyone is really going to read this, but i'll pretend) i had been using the title "deadbluebird" or "adeadbluebird" for quite a while. Well, since i got pregnant i started using the title "birdblue" or "abirdblue"; i just didn't feel like a "deadbluebird" anymore.
Let me back up even more and explain why it is I used that handle to begin with. My father had a tattoo of a blue bird on his left forearm with my name under it. My father died when I was eight. At some point when reading about blue birds I read that “a dead bluebird is a symbol of disillusionment, of the loss of innocence, and of transformation from the younger and naive to the older and wiser.” Therefore the handle seemed very fitting to me. Losing my dad made me very disillusioned with life. I feel it killed my innocence and created emptiness inside me.
Since having Sam that emptiness doesn’t seem as dark, in fact it seems to have shrunk. Sam has given me such a joy, he has lifted my spirits and has given me a feeling of hope that i haven't had in a very long time. Sam has revived me.
My Dad and i:
Sam and i (on Halloween):